35-year-old Woman, owner of 2 large German Shepherds, hosts 4th of July Party and refuses to remove the dogs from the room when they pester guests, tells them to leave, which they do, creating a rift in the wider friend group

A big part of coming together for a group gathering is creating an environment where everyone is comfortable. It is sort of a lost art, hosting and creating spaces where we socialize together. 

But communication is a key part of that that we are somehow missing. We're so afraid now to assert our own feelings and preferences that we instead let our relationships atrophy from unspoken slights and misunderstandings.

It seems ironic, then, that communication has never been easier; communication technology has never been better. And yet, that very same technology has seemingly created a barrier between us, an invisible window slid.

That added layer of advancing technology has undoubtedly made us increasingly distant, not more connected. That layer of friction means that we no longer gather together the way that we used to, and are not as present when we do. 

It's sort of like we're sitting in our car, stopped on the freeway in traffic. Our friends and family are next to us in theirs. In practicality, we are just two people directly adjacent to each other, but the two thin panes of glass between us make us feel as if we have never been further apart. 

It stands to reason that everyone has different feelings about not just pets but their pets. My pets are family to me. You won't convince me otherwise. I definitely follow the school of thought that my house is “their” house too. But when it comes to dogs, you have to understand that some people have ingrained fears from past experiences, and large dogs and certain breeds are more likely to make people uncomfortable.

But the “right of residence” that some hosts argue for their pets overlooks one crucial detail: guests are guests. 

Thinking that a guest is somehow beneath the residents of a home is a complete misattribution of what being a “guest” is. Guests have been treated as persons of honor in your home throughout human history and cross-culturally. Being owed special rights and the place of honor, gracious hosts as a way of expressing the value and importance of the relationship.

That idea has only really eroded in the last 30 years or so along with the rest of the social contract. Now it has flipped to the fact that a “guest” is someone who is regarded as beneath the permanent residents, a lesser than who, as a mere visitor, had do well to make themselves scarce and take up as little space and be as not-inconvenient to the residents as possible. 

So, in this case, when I have guests in my home, I do still have an obligation to ensure that my pets are comfortable and happy. But I also have an obligation to ensure that my guests are equally or more so. This is something that this “host” has totally missed. If I were the friends in this case, I wouldn't attend any gatherings that this host held. Further, if my feelings, preferences, and comfort meant that little to them, I probably wouldn't remain friends with them either. 
 

But, undoubtedly, the fact that they were the only ones bothered by the dog speaks a bit to maybe that the guest was being unreasonable. Still, I stand by the fact that communication should have been had and guest preference and comfort should have been better considered.